Omega Man with Charlton Heston

Omega Man with Charlton Heston. It’s Charlton f-ing Heston.

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Mutant Chronicles

What the hell is all this?

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Indiana Jones and the Giant Sack of Money

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I’m relieved to know that, in the event of nuclear catastrophe, the President only has to sneak into the Oval Office refrigerator rather than rush aboard Air Force One. Speaking of Air Force One, they should redesign it to be a giant refrigerator with wings and jet engine.  Read more

Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Starring Jessica Alba and Dr. Victor von Nip/Tuck. Read more

Dawn of the Dead (2004 remake)

Dawn of the Dead. 2004. Not George Romero, but still awesome. Read more

Demons (Demoni)

Demons (Demoni), the 1985 film by Lamberto Bava and Dario Argento. So bad yet so good.

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Ghost Ship

Ghost Ship has no business being any good. Strangely, however, it’s not bad. The salvager of the souls thing was kinda cool.  So many bad elements, but overall I reluctantly say: not crap.

More details in the forum poll.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

It is one of the lowest rated and most panned movies of all time. The only surprise about that is that the first movie is rated higher. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is much better than its predecessor.

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Constantine

I rewound parts and watched with subtitles and the sound off. It’s better. None of that messy acting to get in the way.

Not crap.

Forum poll.

The Paper Chase

You came so highly regarded and critically acclaimed, but you were so badly acted and poorly structured. How can viewers relate to this affected dullard of a protagonist? The Crap Chase, I dub you.

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